Holding Our Community in Grief
This week, our community carries an unbearable loss.
Two children’s lives were taken in the local school shooting, and the grief extends to families, classmates, teachers, and neighbors - our community.
At the same time, many of us are sending our loved ones off for the first day of school. What is usually a season of fresh starts and excitement is now layered with sorrow, fear, and tenderness. It’s normal to feel joy and pride alongside grief and worry—you are not alone in holding these mixed emotions.
In uncertain and tragic moments like this, it’s also common to feel like you are not doing enough—as a parent, neighbor, or community member. But healing is not measured by how much you do. It is built on many small, imperfect gestures of care woven together: a kind word, a meal dropped off, a note of remembrance, a few deep breaths, or even allowing yourself to rest. Enough is simply what you are able to give today.
To decolonize our healing means to remember that grief and justice are intertwined—that mourning must be paired with imagining and working toward a world where such violence is no longer possible. Our care can be both tender and transformative.
Some ways we can tend to ourselves and one another include:
Naming the mix of feelings without judgment.
Leaning into community and connection.
Stepping back from the media when it becomes too heavy.
Creating rituals of remembrance for the children lost.
Offering acts of care that ripple outward—checking in, writing to leaders, showing up for change.
Allowing space for rest and gentleness, knowing this, too, is part of healing.
Healing will take time.
Together, we can carry grief and love, sorrow and hope—and keep working toward a world where every child is safe, cherished, and free.
You are not alone. What you bring is enough. And together, we will continue to hold memory, love, and justice side by side.
About the Author
After spending years in a local community mental health setting and group practice in leadership positions, Tina D. Shah (PsyD, LP) decided to start Collaboration for Psychological Wellness, LLC to expand access and reduce barriers to services.